Longwoods Online

Longwoods Online July 2007 : 0-0

DIVERSION July | 2007. A feature from the Longwoods eLetter.


[No abstract available for this article.]
The Challenge
Healthcare needs some new words and we put out the challenge. We asked our readers to put on their beanie hats and put their brains to the test by taking any word from the dictionary, altering it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.

The top 20 entries we selected win their authors a free one year virtual subscription to all Longwoods journals.

If you submitted any of these words (and we know who you are) please send a note to Barbara Marshall at bmarshall@longwoods.com asking for open access to the complete Longwoods web site. Yep, everything! Thanks for participating.

The top 20 words submitted were as follows:

  1. Apprendectomy: a Quebec procedure to get rid of useless knowledge
  2. Balanced snore card: the only way to present incomplete and misleading information to naïve Board members: put them to sleep first.
  3. Canadian Healthcarp: endless complaining about waiting last (q.v.).
  4. Cynical practice guidelines (with a slight bending of the contest rules): whatever my supervisor seems to like, I'll do.
  5. Diminity: the quality or state of being stupid.
  6. Flabdominals:... when your six pack has become a keg
  7. Heathcare Quarterly: the ultimate authority on habitats characterized by open, low growing woody vegetation, found on mainly infertile acidic soils. In the latter respect they are similar to moorland, but they differ in terms of climate - heathland is generally warmer and drier than moorland - and vegetation. Proudly presented by Longwoods Publishing.
  8. Impunization: technique used to avoid taking the blame for anything that goes wrong on your unit
  9. Integrated wealth system: transferring public funds to the private sector.
  10. Lafarascopic surgery: minimally invasive technique to repair the funny bone
  11. Lost effectiveness: we tried, but…
  12. Lymie's Disease: the uncontrollable urge to speak with a British accent, caused by a nervous tick
  13. Mantectomy: the art of getting rid of a useless tit of a husband
  14. Necrotizing fascist: lethal bacteria that goose-step through your system
  15. Patent satisfaction: University Health Sciences rake in the big bucks.
  16. Patient-centred fare: hospital food is getting better!
  17. Quality of lift: faster hospital elevators improve patient care.
  18. Terminal illness: a queasiness regarding EMRs that afflicts almost 4 in 5 Canadian primary care physicians; has little, if any impact on the physician, but over 20 thousand Canadians die from it each year
  19. Waiting last: the ultimate insult from the health system to the patient.
  20. West Pile Virus: the cause of haemorrhoids in British Columbia

("Thanks" for the idea goes to the Washington Post)


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